June 15, 1983
My dear Matthias,
You are my oldest and dearest friend. You know me better than I know myself. I am confident that you will not only be expecting this but that you will understand. People have changed so drastically over the last few decades. It had become too difficult to simply exist beside them. It is evident this is just who or what they are. It seems the nature of human beings is to conquer or destroy anything and everything they set their sights on. With the technology developing so swiftly, my hope for them is fleeting. The abuse amongst each other, the neglect of their surroundings, and the blatant disrespect of the land and nature, how can they be what holds the hope of our future? The kind acts, the compassion I once adored, have faded into simple stories they tell their offspring. The love, oh the love I crave so desperately, they squander and abuse it, never knowing how superbly lucky they are to have ever had any love at all. I have begun to despise them and their lack of respect for all things—once again. We both know where this road will take me. I need the silence and peace that comes after. The nothingness I experience in the hereafter. With the feeling of hope now gone, I have nothing but the pain of loss and the darkness left to hold onto. If this path we have been waiting for does not open up soon, I am afraid I will no longer have the will to continue. If people can push me to the edge so easily, Am-heh shall have no problems. I cannot allow that. – xii – We both know of the changes to come. I am sure you will have all the preparations in order when it is time for us to be together again. I do look forward to seeing you again in Idaho (of course, it would have to be the western U.S. I hate the damn cold). Until then, my friend, remember I trust Samuel for this next task. He may have a simple mind, but he has a pure heart. I will benefit from his influences. It is possible I won’t recognize you right away. Please try to be more patient with me than usual. I am counting on you to point me to the right choice. Let us hope we are right about this. I am not sure I can handle another century in this gutter-like stalemate. I miss you already.
Your Dear Friend,
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